Final Fantasy 8
Almost there folks! Only 3 more FF games after this one!So, Final Fantasy VIII (8), let's see what we have here.
After having 6 games where Yoshitaka "What the Hell is this supposed to be?" Amano did all the artwork, Tetsuya "Everyone looks the same in my world!" Nomura took over for Final Fantasy 7 and gave the game an Anime feel. That was only a phase though, cos ever since Final Fantasy 8 he has gone for a kind of Western Pretty Boy/Cute Girl look with perhaps some slight Asian influences, and basically, you can't tell the difference with any of them.
It's obvious from the get-go, that FF 8 was designed to appeal to a Western-minded audience. It has lots of special effects and flashy stuff, Western-looking main characters and a completely stupid background story. If that doesn't spell Hollywood, I don't know what does.
But fair's fair. The game IS very pretty, even at this day and age, it can still hold its own, the FMV still looks stunning, despite the fact that much more is possible nowadays.
So, a lot has been changed, and whether it's for better or worse, I will refrain from judgement until I reach the end. What's different?:
- No Treasure chests
- No Equipment
- Unorthodox Experience system, where you have to get 1000 points to gain a level, for EVERY level.
- No Magic Points
And that's only a handful of stuff.
But where this game REALLY distinguishes itself from almost every other game in this series, is the story. It's completely stupid. Most of the time it isn't even there, and when it does rear its ugly mug, it's not interesting and doesn't make ANY sense whatsoever. I guess the plot was used as a very weak coat-rack to suspend the boring Love-story on, that is going on between the antagonist Squall Leonhart, who's a student at a Military Academy, and Rinoa Heartilly, who is extremely beautiful and also a bunch of dead pixels.
The game is literally riddled with insane plottwist after plothole, interspersed with nonsense and a smidgeon of Bullshit on the side.
I'm only 3 hours into the game so far, most of which has been spent playing the Card game (I love it! I admit it! Somebody please shoot me!), and already I've run into some of the stupidest logic I've ever seen, that the creators simply didn't care to think about, apparently.
You see, after you get back from your Final Practice Exam (which is a big battle at some town, that almost gets you killed, several times. I love Military School!) there's a big ball (I'm talking about a PARTY, you assholes!) after which Quistis Trepe, your Personal Guidance Councelor Teacher Thingy, who is insanely young, and has that whole dominatrix charisma down to PERFECTION, invites you for a 'private conversation' at the "Secret Spot".
Now apparently EVERYBODY knows about this Secret Spot, cos she even points out that everyone is calling it, in fact, the Secret Spot, which kinda ruins the point I think, but that's not what's bothering me.
You see, traditionally, the Secret Spot is a place where couples go to have a nice quiet...'talk'...and get some serious Biology Exam preparations done, so obviously it has to be a really beautiful romantic spot, right? And it is! But consider this Academy Squall is going to; it has the following institutions:
- An Infirmary, not very suitable for making out though.
- A Library, with lots of high shelves and narrow pathways, but not secret enough, apparently.
- A Parking Area.
- A Dining Hall
- A Student Dorm. That's Right. Now I've never been to a Military Academy, but I've seen plenty a University in my time, and NEVER have I seen an educational building that comes with its own Dormitory ATTACHED and INCLUDED. Still, the privacy and comfort of your own room is not enough!
- A Garden. Great places in general for hanging out, but this is NOT where the secret make-out place is, because here we have the last, but certainly not least of the departments:
- The Training Facility. Sounds Ideal? Well, it's this HUGE Rainforest type area, fashioned very similarly to Jurassic Park, and it's crawling with monsters, INCLUDING Big-ass T-rexes.
Oh yeah, nothing gets me in the mood like a huge Dinosaur breathing down my neck, let me tell you that. And the "Secret Spot" is totally at the Other Side of the Facility, so before you can get there, there's a whole bunch of monsters you have to ward off! Romantic huh!?
"Hey Squall, wanna go and make out at the Secret Spot?"
"Sure Rinoa, I'll just get my Gunblade and my Summon Monsters ready, and we're good to go!"
Or:
"Well, Rinoa, I'd like to kiss you, but I've been told they respond to movement, so I'm just gonna sit very very still here.
Be sure to wear your best clothes!
And, by God, this isn't even the worst and most non-sensical part of the building, but maybe I'll tell you about that later. For now, enjoy this romantic picture:
posted by Ingen! @ 11:08 AM
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