The Biggest Game Project on this Planet

Venting Frustration

Hey Rare, here's an idea:
Have you ever considered NOT making a time challenge out of EVERY FUCKING thing you have to do!? IT'S REALLY RATHER ANNOYING. I HATE USING CAPSLOCK, BUT SEE HOW FAR YOUR GAMES HAVE PUSHED ME!!!! IT'S REALLY NOT VERY PLEASANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sorry, but after this session of Donkey Kong 64, I have decided that Rare has to die. Slowly. And, yes, extremely painfully. As if ALL those time challenges alone weren't enough, they decided to include some INCREDIBLY frustrating mini games.

One of them has you racing this turtle-type thingy down a big slide, where you have to finish first WHILST collecting at least 50 coins. And you loose 3 coins every time you hit the turtle. Did I mention the turtle is kinda big? And fast? And the tracks are really narrow? Joy.
The first time is bad enough, but Rare is never one to let go of a good thing so they let you do it again. This time on ICE. Double Joy.

But that's almost nothing compared to the minigame from HELL. The absolute Worst in Minigames. This one made me perform a lobotomy on myself with a SPOON: Beaver Bother.
Yes. Beaver Bother.
Sounds like Japanese rape porn? Get your mind out of the gutter, lowlife!

Beaver Bother has you chasing around Beavers (I'm warning you!) with a Klaptrap, which is Rare's amusing take on baby crocodiles. The aim is to make 15 beavers fall into a hole in the center of the arena in 60 motherfucking seconds. That's 4 (Four!) seconds for every beaver. I wish I had that much time for beavers in real life!


Oh damn....


Anyway, you have to scare them into the hole, by barking at them or whatever it is crocodiles do, but most of the time, they will just teeter on the edge of the pit, and they won't even go in when you're pressing your reptilian nose right up against that beaver! (.....?)

Well, believe me it's a LOT worse than it sounds, I've checked around on the Internet, and apparently anyone who's played the game agrees on its pulling-hair-out-factor. In fact, I actually threw my controller to the floor with force which is something I haven't done since Super Street Fighter II. (Deejay is Satan)

Just type in Beaver Bother in google, and check some DK64 reviews, it's bound to turn up. EVERYONE BLOODY HATES IT. Someone at Rare needs to be fired for this.
And I mean from a cannon

posted by Ingen! @ 10:49 PM