The Biggest Game Project on this Planet

Ingen's Game of the Year Awards 2007

Yes! Finally!
It's here! The biggest event known in the world of Video Games, The (almost) Annual Ingen Game of the Year Awards, 2007 edition (limited!)
Which makes it, what?, the second time already? Man, this is some exclusive shit!
Actually I was thinking of doing one last year too, but you know how these things go, no time/interest/money, and besides, 2006 pretty much sucked BUTT, so you're not missing anything anyway.

But not this year! Oh man, this year was SWEET. For some strange reason pretty much all the good games were released in the last 3 months (how do these things happen?) whereas the first 9 months of the year were pretty uneventful (with a couple of exceptions), causing lots of empty wallets and poor people around Christmas time, quite unusually, thus neatly explaining the increased crime rates around this period as well. I'd show you statistical evidence, but I can't be arsed.

Anyhow: Games!
This year's categories are: Best PS2 game, Best Wii game, Best 360 game, Best DS game, and Best Game Overall, and maybe Most Disappointing Game, depending on whether I feel like it, I don't actually know that right now, and it's far too much trouble to go back and edit this later.
Notice the absence of a PSP and PS3 category in these awards because they are Ass...uh....AS...of this moment not worth the money. Yeah, yeah that's it. Phew. Nice save there.
Also, expect random opinininininions (FUCK!) on random games in here somewhere, I'm drinking shochu right now and the glass is still far from empty.

So without further Ado, let us proceed to PS2 game of the year!

PS2 Game of the Year! (I think I already said that):



What!? GOD OF WAR!? II even!?
Yeah, so it was a slow PS2 year. REALLY slow. I mean, the thing is breathing its last breath for Pete's sake! (yet still outselling the PS3)
Well, to be perfectly honest, this game would have been a strong contender either way, cos, and let's be honest here for a change, it KICKS ASS. Serious Ass. Not the kind of ass you find at a second rate petting zoo, you know, the kind of ass that has seen better days but is now a mere shadow of its former self, with patches of balding skin all over its body, but REAL burly, testosteron Ass. The kind of Ass that follows you into a dark alley at night, and just when you turn around to see absolutely nothing, it pops up behind you and gives you a Somersault JUSTICE in the face. That's the kind of Ass I'm talking about. Seri-Ass

This is not a game about subtlety, beauty, art or poetics. It's about brutal, viscious, viscerous single-minded KILLING. Kratos is definitely not someone to mess with, and he doesn't mind letting you know, and leaving no fractions of doubt.
What this means is that you are playing an enormously bombastic game, with HUGE Boss Fights, lots of violent Finishing Moves, Big Shiny Graphics, large worlds and especially, LOADS OF NUDITY, all of which makes this an instant classic.
They fixed the lack of boss battles from the first game and threw in a lot more variety, so in the end, everyone's happy!

Everyone, it seems, except for Kratos himself, who is SERIOUSLY pissed throughout the entire game. And this is pretty much my only gripe with this game. Kratos is an immensely unlikable character. He's too much kick-ass and too little good guy. His purposes are entirely self-serving and don't make that much sense at all, and he is extremely serious (and violent) in evertyhing he does. Would it have hurt to give him some semi-comical quips, or SOMETHING to show that he is not taking himself too seriously? I rather dislike the guy, which prevents me from forming any kind of emotional interest with him or the story.
He does know how to smash people's heads between a door though, DAYAMN!

Rather short, but great fun all the way. And lots of boobies!

Disclaimer No.1: Of course I have been watching other Game of the Year Awards on other sites, I can't be expected to play EVERYTHING that's released (I'm damn well trying though), and it seems I am missing out by not having played Odin Sphere or Persona 3 yet. Both of them are on my To Buy list, but I still have so much other stuff to do!

Best Wii Game:

No contest here.



Super Mario Galaxy.

Well, yes, it HAS been a rather slow year for the Wii, but even if it hadn't, this game would have stood head and shoulders above its competitors.
I may have mentioned in the past that I wasn't that much of a Mario 64 fan, and Mario Sunshine abhorred me so much that it became the only Mario game in existence that I didn't bother to finish for the full 100 percent (I finished the game, but I didn't get all the Shines, because it was WAY too much trouble, mainly due to the blue coins)
I am a HUGE fan of the old 2D games, especially Super Mario Bros 3 and Super Mario World (I have trouble acknowleding Yoshi's Island as a Mario game), and I for one have never been convinced by Mario's foray into the Third Dimension (I seriously do not get how some people can claim that Mario 64 does a good job of translating the original 2D Mario gameplay into 3D. Did I somehow play a different game than all those people!?), but shit, Mario Galaxy is about as good as it gets.

See, whereas Mario 64 and Sunshine threw you into the same stage over and over again, with minor changes, to find all the stars/shines/coins/coke addicts, which was a rather repetitive and BORING ordeal, Mario Galaxy starts you out at the same point in every galaxy, but very soon whisks you off to new asteroids that you couldn't reach with previous tasks.
This way, the game perfectly maintains the short 'episodic' structure of the old 2D games, with short but fun and varied stages, each with their own theme and gimmick, offering a LOT more fun than any of the previous 3D games were ever able to offer.
Also, the Fire Flower is back! YES!

It's truly amazing the amount of variety, love and imagination that has been poured into this little gem, and it doesn't get boring for a second!
What it DOES get, though, is FRUSTRATING. Believe you me, once you finish the game for the first time, you'll unlock the Purple Coin challenges, and those can be SERIOUSLY annoying.
I'm willing to accept this though, as it provides a very decent challenge for the more experienced player, appeasing pretty much every single person in the audience.

Add to that a marvellous Orchestral Soundtrack (WHY did it take them so long!?), wide screen and progressive scan support, and you've got yourself one immensely impressive Wii game.
I'll admit, I had kind of given up on the little fat plumber, but Nintendo totally proved me wrong by kicking me in my jaded gaming nuts.
And being kicked in the nuts has NEVER felt this good.

Best DS Game:

Man, this was a tough one.



Hoohoo, bet you didn't see THAT one coming!
Like I...um...haven't said yet, I adhere to the release date of the version I've played, regardless of whether something has or has not been released in the West/Japan (yet/still/not/ever/if/through)
Final Fantasy Tactics Advance 2 (damn, that's a straight road to RSI, right there), not so aptly named because it was NOT made for the Gameboy Advance, was released in Japan this year and, to be honest, spent most time in my DS.

I have to acknowledge the brilliance that was Zelda: Phantom Hourglass, it was definitely a superb game, MUCH better than its spiritual predecessor, the Wind Waker, and I loved every second of it (well maybe not the Temple of the Ocean King), but in the end, I found that FFTA2 kept me coming back time and time again to finish every little subquest I could find, and I had non-stop fun for the entire ride, so yeah, I guess it comes out on top.

Basically, it takes Final Fantasy Tactics Advance (DAMN you Square!), improves the graphics, music (well, "rearranges FFTA1 and FFXII" is more like it. Hitoshi Sakimoto is not known for his variety, that's for sure), ditches the unforgiving "Disobey and DIE" Law System in favor of an "Earn Bonus Stuff if you Bother to Obey" system, adds another 100 quests on top of FFTA's already impressive 300, gives you a whole buttload of jobs to choose from, adds auctions and whatnot, and in the end creates an incredibly compelling deep tactical RPG, that, although rather easy and family-friendly, manages to keep you glued to your dual screens for HOURS upon HOURS just to get that next subquest done. It's very easy to just pick up and play for 15 minutes, and it pretty much dominated my free time for about a month after I got it.
And that, after all, is what games should be about, no?

Best 360 Game

Cliffhanger! Seriously, I don't know what the Hell is going on here, but ever since Blogger changed their service, it's become completely incomprehensible and impossible to work with. It seems I CAN save a entry without posting it, but the stupid system refuses to recall it when I want it to, so I'll just have to resort to posting a provisory version. Sorry about this, you can complain at Blogger Headquarters if you want. More coming soon!

posted by Ingen! @ 5:51 PM