Nightmare Creatures
Man, this is really insane.I've already reached and completed the letter N, and I'm still not even halfway through my collection! I haven't even reached 100 yet, although that's coming very close. I'd say 58 games starting with S are partially to blame.
Anyway, Nightmare Creatures then.
You know, I kinda pride myself on having a good taste. In other words, I'm basically right about everything people don't agree with, and if you don't agree, I'm right. QED.
I also make sure that I generally know what I'm buying before I buy it. I make sure I love the genre, the series, or that enough reliable (= not IGN) sources say it's good before I buy a game, and I'm generally not dissapointed. This helps account for the fact that I tend to rate my games rather high, on average, for the very simple fact that I make sure I'm buying a good game beforehand.
Of course there are occasional hiccups, but those only help enforce the fact that I'm always right about everything.
So one day, not even so very long ago, I think it was last year or something, I bought Nightmare Creatures and to this day I have not the slightest idea what possessed me to do that.
I had played a demo a long LONG time ago, and it left a favorable impression, mostly because the music was pretty nice and the opening level was entertaining.
God, was I ever wrong. That is, the music IS nice, there's some good ambient creepy music throughout the game, and boss battles are accompanied by decently appropriate Gothic-ish Rock, but the game is something that must have been spawned from the depths of Hell it aspires to portray.
What starts out with indeed a decently interesting opening level soon ends in nothing but repetitiveness, boring levels, crappy controls, migraines and suicidal tendencies.
Enemy design is awful, graphics are crappy, levels are too long (they ARE pretty big actually) without any point to them, and, geez, the game just SUCKS alright?
You play as either Nadia or Ignatius, and you are constantly trying to catch Adam Crowley, mad scientist, who's created some kind of magic potion and why are you reading this anyway? In any case, cue streets of 19th centure Britain full of roaming monster, with Zombies, Werewolves, Vampire Bats and God knows what.
Actually the setting is pretty nice, although there's nothing that makes it look like Britain except for the fact that there are some familiar place names.
It's about as scary as a bunch of fluffy kittens. With ribbons.
You get one button for jumping, one for using your weapon, one for kicking and one for calling the nurse when you've had enough. Oh, and guess what, if you miss a jump and fall into water or anything, YOU DIE INSTANTLY. Great!
You get an amount of lives though, so you can retry from where you fell in, but Christ, the controls are so shoddy that you'll just plummet in no matter what you do anyway.
My main mission for this post is to tell you to NOT play this game, and steer well clear of it. It Sucks Big Hairy Wolfballs. Even at its best its still immensely boring. It reminded me of putting a cactus down my pants and having a professional soccer player kick me in the Nads, although I don't quite remember when I did that.
It only further convinced me of the fact that American video games are complete and utter rubbish, it's just that some of them have nice music.
Anyway, screw this lot, I give it a nice round 3. It makes me want to vomit for all the wrong reasons. Oh, and I DID actually finish it, but only by cheating. Heheh.
And the ending is not worth the bother either, so if you ever see this in your local store, report it to the police and sleep with its girlfriend.
Junk.
posted by Ingen! @ 7:01 PM
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