The Biggest Game Project on this Planet

Pink Fluff

Heheh. I'm in easy street now.

Last night I already went and cleared Kirby's Adventure on NES. A nice in-betweener this one. I can see where the cute little guy (is he a guy? does he even have any discerning organs?) gets all his fans, cos it's cute, colorful and non-offensive. I'm sure Jack Thompson could find something wrong with it though.
"Kirby is a hallucinogenic! Just look at all those colors! That can't be healthy! Screw the Hot Coffee affair, I'm sueing Nintendo for selling hallucinatory Drugs!"

Well, Jack, Kirby does look an awful lot like a titty with feet, I'll grant you that.

Kirby's Adventure is just a carefree game, that starts with the Evil King DeDeDe (that is NOT a typo) stealing the Dream Rod (man, I'm making this really easy for Jack, no?) causing people to have nightmares and whatnot. Be ready for a MAJOR plottwist though, cos nothing is as it seems and we all know Nintendo for their FANTASTIC stories.

Now let me clarify what Kirby does. He sucks. And I do mean, he SUCKS. He can SUCK up his enemies and then BLOW them out as a STAR to KILL other baddies. It is however much more kick-ASS to just SWALLOW your enemies wHOLE and steal their abilities, which you can then use OVER and OVER again; and, yes, I am determined to make this kiddy game seem like the raunchiest porn ever.

The cool thing is, every ability has its own merits, and some of them can be used to unlock bonus areas and the like. Every world has, like, 6 levels or something, and usually one or two of those have a big hidden switch that opens up a new bonus game on the world map. These switches are surprisingly well hidden and will require some effort to find. The game keeps a percentage score of how much you found in the Save Game screen, and I crossed the finish-line at 78%, which isn't really that much.

It's kind of a pity that all you can unlock is simple bonus games, and that there are no extra levels to be found, but it's nice all the same. It is a really enjoyable game although it takes cutesyness and non-offensiveness to an entirely new level which might not be to everyone's taste. The look of the game as well as the animation are very comical though, and you just can't hate something like Kirby, because he would come and suck up your entire family.
I'm sure your daddy could use that by now.

In the end though, I felt it was slightly too long, and got a teensy-weensy bit repetitive. The Final Boss fight was cool though, totally not what I expected, but the ending was nothing special. It's not as great as Nintendo's other big Platform games, but it's amusing all the same. An 8.3.

posted by Ingen! @ 5:19 PM