The Biggest Game Project on this Planet

Extinction

So there we are, Dino Crisis is finished.
I can't believe how stupid this game is.
Still I guess I should have expected this, since it was made by the same people behind Resident Evil (thank you mr. Mikami!).
Not that the RE games are bad, mind you, it's just that most of them, especially part 1, around which time Dino Crisis was also made are incredibly fucking stupid.
Dino Crisis however, is in a totally new league of stupid, kind of like it's pointing at RE and going: "Hah! Viral Outbreaks and Zombie scientists are Shakespeare compared to what WE are going to do!".

Let me spoil the story for you by trying to explain where the Dino's in the game actually come from. See, there's this Mad Scientist (isn't there always? Dr. Wiley was the only cool one, I say) called Dr. Kirk and he has this amazingly realistic idea of creating Energy out of Ions in the air. Yes.
Normal Ions. In normal everyday air.
...

He calls this Third Energy and he would have lived happily ever after with it, were it not for the fact that the whole process can somehow cause Vortexes in said air, thus creating some kind of portal to another time.

I have to say, I was trying to claw my brains out during this particular plot scene.

Despite the fact that the only portals you get to see in the game are very small, there HAS to be a HUGE T-rex in a game like this, which will be after you throughout the whole game and can easily kill you with one bite.
Capcom obviously thought this Idea was so great they continued it with that Trench-coat guy in RE2, Nemesis in RE3, and probably that Quasimodo-esque guy in the upcoming Demento.

But hey, if anything, the Metal Gear Solid games have shown us that Bullshit Stories don't necessarily mean crappy game, right? well, not so Dino Crisis unfortunately.
Even as an RE clone this game is extremely mediocre. Shooting Zombies was fun, but molesting dinosaurs is rather dull. The Combat system, for lack of a better word, is very shoddy and most of the time you don't have enough ammo to take your time and shoot everything anyway, so you'll just be running. Thanks Capcom.
If I wanted to run a lot, I'd go outside. Or better yet, I'd get Track & Field for my NES with one of those mat-controller things.

Also, you'll just be running back and forth between the same place, carrying a multitude of key-cards and chips with you, never quite remembering which one went where. Add to that the extremely boring monotonous environments and you have a very dull game indeed. There are some nice puzzles here and there though.
Another annoyance is the fact that there is no file folder, unlike the RE games.
If you find some kind of note you have to remember everything it says, (and where it is, in case you forget what it says), cause you're not getting any kind of filing system whatsoever.

By the way, I got the ending where both Dr. Kirk and Gail survive, which I've been told was actually more or less the "secret" or "hard" ending, even though it came quite naturally to me. Stupid.

I give this game a 6, which is incidentally the same as I gave to Alone in the Dark: the New Nightmare. Only try this if you're an avid Survival Horror fan.

posted by Ingen! @ 11:30 AM