Sony RetardedStation 3
Remember kids! You can't spell "Playstation" without "Palsy"!Now let me get one thing straight first, I am NOT a fanboy, never have been never will.
Well, okay, I USED to be a Nintendo Fanboy, way back when, but that was before I actually got to try out Sonic on the Megadrive, and as soon as I did, I discarded my ridiculous prejudices and learned to love the world of Video Games in its entirety.
Geez, just look at my Collection and you'll immediately see that I am not particularly partial to any Console in particular, I have just sold my soul to Capcom, and they can do with it whatever they want.
I most certainly do not have anything against Sony, in fact, I would say that if you enjoyed the NES and the SNES after it, like any sane person with taste, then the most logical next two steps would be the PSX and the PS2, rather than Nintendo's two successing consoles, the N64 and the Gamecube.
Similarly though, I feel that the Xbox 360 is by far and away the best choice to continue your life as a gamer with access to actually good games.
But I digress! Sony in itself has done perfectly fine in the past, and the PSP is also holding up very well against the Unslain King of Handhelds, it's just that the PS3 is completely stupid, retardedly expensive, and just not very well equipped.
We all know that Microsoft's success has led to Sony stealing some ideas, and that's FINE, as the Dutch saying goes, "better well-stolen than ill-conceived", and it's perfectly acceptable to steal someone's idea and implement it in your own console, it simply means that owners of other consoles can enjoy the same features as other consoles, people should be HAPPY with that, and I know I am.
In fact, I am still waiting for Nintendo to include some kind of Achievement system on the Wii, but that will probably never happen.
And that's what I wanted to talk to you about today, boys and girls, the PS3 equivalent of Achievements, Trophies.
I actually really like the system, it works exactly the same as the XBox Achievements, the sole difference being that the points you earn are not just points, but are actually used to "level up" your gamertag. Each game has Bronze, Silver, Gold and Platinum awards, each type of metal ranking in a specific amount of points, which goes towards your "experience" so to speak. Which still means you're dealing with meaningless numbers, it's just that it's slightly more interesting than a score. Experience points are better than simple score points, right? RIGHT!?
Exactly.
The only problem is that very few PS3 games actually support trophies. Unlike the XBox, where achievement support is MANDATORY (smart move Microsoft!), Trophy support is still only optional (rumors are that Sony is working on that though), meaning that not many games actually have them.
On the other hand, some games are patched to include trophies, so that's good!
An example of one of those games would be Fallout 3.
I did not know that Fallout 3 would be getting a patch to include trophies, and I did not find out, oh the irony, 2 days after I completed the game. HAHA.
Nope, they're not retro-active either, so you have to do everything all over again.
Still, Fallout 3 is a really good game, so doing it over again is not any kind of punishment. I'd been the goody-two-shoes I always am on my first playthrough of an RPG, but this game looks like it might reward you for being a total fucking arsehole as well, so playing through a second time might prove fun.
And even if it didn't, I just wanted to get ONE trophy, just to see what it's like.
So I pop in the game, and start a New Adventure. The first trophy you can earn is VERY near the beginning, awarding you pretty much just for creating a character and sitting through the basic Control Tutorial.
You get it for recieving the Pip-boy 3000, which is this game's goddamn Menu-screen, so it's not even POSSIBLE to miss.
So I sit through the opening...no wait, I SKIP the opening sequence, watch myself being born, choose my sex (loads of it please, hur hur), create my avatar (using a preset face), skip all the feature customizing features, watch mom going into cardiac arrest (am I THAT ugly!?), fade to white.
One year later, control tutorial, crawl out of your baby-pen, read the picture book to determine your skill levels, follow daddy into the hallway, fade to white.
Nine years later, your 10th birthday. What do you get for turning 10 in vault 101?
Your very own Pip-boy! Yay! Here comes my first Trophy!
So I get my Pip-boy, slightly salivating in anticipation, and silently a message pops up in the upper right corner of the screen. That's a shame, no fulfilling ploppy sound as with the Achievements, a sound that I keep hearing every waking moment of the day, but whatever, as long as I get the trophy.
So the message! It reads:
"You did not earn a Trophy"
...
...
...
Wait, what?
...
I did NOT earn a trophy?
You are telling me I did not earn a trophy?
Anger, frustration, confusion, and a slight feeling of amusement fueled by the ever-persistent comedian in me who actually sees the irony of the situation, surge through my body.
See, I'm not pissed I didn't get the Trophy, like I said, it's stupidly easy to get, you just TURN ON the game; it's not like I just finished Megaman 9 without taking any damage or anything.
No, it's that the console goes out of its way to tell me I DID NOT GET IT.
Could you imagine the XBox telling you at key points "achievement still locked!"!?
That's like going on a date with a really hot chick, only at the end of the evening to be left outside in the cold in front of her door, and then her quickly popping her head out to tell you "you did not score!"
FUCK!
So, as always the Interwebs shows that more people have had this problem, and it seems it has something to do with having changed your PSN account password, which I might have done recently, I can't really remember, but I had to go through quite some trouble before I was able to get Super Street Fighter II HD, and now it seems I need to delete my user account, and then recreate it, in order to fix the problem.
Haven't tried that yet, but I hope it works.
I any case, this is another fine example of Sony COCKING up immensely.
Fix it. FIX IT NOW!
And while you're at it, get some decent exclusives, make sure they STAY exclusive, and make sure they're GOOD, cos right now, I don't really know WHY I have a PS3 in the first place.
posted by Ingen! @ 12:50 PM
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