The Biggest Game Project on this Planet

Ingen's Game of the Year Awards 2007

Yes! Finally!
It's here! The biggest event known in the world of Video Games, The (almost) Annual Ingen Game of the Year Awards, 2007 edition (limited!)
Which makes it, what?, the second time already? Man, this is some exclusive shit!
Actually I was thinking of doing one last year too, but you know how these things go, no time/interest/money, and besides, 2006 pretty much sucked BUTT, so you're not missing anything anyway.

But not this year! Oh man, this year was SWEET. For some strange reason pretty much all the good games were released in the last 3 months (how do these things happen?) whereas the first 9 months of the year were pretty uneventful (with a couple of exceptions), causing lots of empty wallets and poor people around Christmas time, quite unusually, thus neatly explaining the increased crime rates around this period as well. I'd show you statistical evidence, but I can't be arsed.

Anyhow: Games!
This year's categories are: Best PS2 game, Best Wii game, Best 360 game, Best DS game, and Best Game Overall, and maybe Most Disappointing Game, depending on whether I feel like it, I don't actually know that right now, and it's far too much trouble to go back and edit this later.
Notice the absence of a PSP and PS3 category in these awards because they are Ass...uh....AS...of this moment not worth the money. Yeah, yeah that's it. Phew. Nice save there.
Also, expect random opinininininions (FUCK!) on random games in here somewhere, I'm drinking shochu right now and the glass is still far from empty.

So without further Ado, let us proceed to PS2 game of the year!

PS2 Game of the Year! (I think I already said that):



What!? GOD OF WAR!? II even!?
Yeah, so it was a slow PS2 year. REALLY slow. I mean, the thing is breathing its last breath for Pete's sake! (yet still outselling the PS3)
Well, to be perfectly honest, this game would have been a strong contender either way, cos, and let's be honest here for a change, it KICKS ASS. Serious Ass. Not the kind of ass you find at a second rate petting zoo, you know, the kind of ass that has seen better days but is now a mere shadow of its former self, with patches of balding skin all over its body, but REAL burly, testosteron Ass. The kind of Ass that follows you into a dark alley at night, and just when you turn around to see absolutely nothing, it pops up behind you and gives you a Somersault JUSTICE in the face. That's the kind of Ass I'm talking about. Seri-Ass

This is not a game about subtlety, beauty, art or poetics. It's about brutal, viscious, viscerous single-minded KILLING. Kratos is definitely not someone to mess with, and he doesn't mind letting you know, and leaving no fractions of doubt.
What this means is that you are playing an enormously bombastic game, with HUGE Boss Fights, lots of violent Finishing Moves, Big Shiny Graphics, large worlds and especially, LOADS OF NUDITY, all of which makes this an instant classic.
They fixed the lack of boss battles from the first game and threw in a lot more variety, so in the end, everyone's happy!

Everyone, it seems, except for Kratos himself, who is SERIOUSLY pissed throughout the entire game. And this is pretty much my only gripe with this game. Kratos is an immensely unlikable character. He's too much kick-ass and too little good guy. His purposes are entirely self-serving and don't make that much sense at all, and he is extremely serious (and violent) in evertyhing he does. Would it have hurt to give him some semi-comical quips, or SOMETHING to show that he is not taking himself too seriously? I rather dislike the guy, which prevents me from forming any kind of emotional interest with him or the story.
He does know how to smash people's heads between a door though, DAYAMN!

Rather short, but great fun all the way. And lots of boobies!

Disclaimer No.1: Of course I have been watching other Game of the Year Awards on other sites, I can't be expected to play EVERYTHING that's released (I'm damn well trying though), and it seems I am missing out by not having played Odin Sphere or Persona 3 yet. Both of them are on my To Buy list, but I still have so much other stuff to do!

Best Wii Game:

No contest here.



Super Mario Galaxy.

Well, yes, it HAS been a rather slow year for the Wii, but even if it hadn't, this game would have stood head and shoulders above its competitors.
I may have mentioned in the past that I wasn't that much of a Mario 64 fan, and Mario Sunshine abhorred me so much that it became the only Mario game in existence that I didn't bother to finish for the full 100 percent (I finished the game, but I didn't get all the Shines, because it was WAY too much trouble, mainly due to the blue coins)
I am a HUGE fan of the old 2D games, especially Super Mario Bros 3 and Super Mario World (I have trouble acknowleding Yoshi's Island as a Mario game), and I for one have never been convinced by Mario's foray into the Third Dimension (I seriously do not get how some people can claim that Mario 64 does a good job of translating the original 2D Mario gameplay into 3D. Did I somehow play a different game than all those people!?), but shit, Mario Galaxy is about as good as it gets.

See, whereas Mario 64 and Sunshine threw you into the same stage over and over again, with minor changes, to find all the stars/shines/coins/coke addicts, which was a rather repetitive and BORING ordeal, Mario Galaxy starts you out at the same point in every galaxy, but very soon whisks you off to new asteroids that you couldn't reach with previous tasks.
This way, the game perfectly maintains the short 'episodic' structure of the old 2D games, with short but fun and varied stages, each with their own theme and gimmick, offering a LOT more fun than any of the previous 3D games were ever able to offer.
Also, the Fire Flower is back! YES!

It's truly amazing the amount of variety, love and imagination that has been poured into this little gem, and it doesn't get boring for a second!
What it DOES get, though, is FRUSTRATING. Believe you me, once you finish the game for the first time, you'll unlock the Purple Coin challenges, and those can be SERIOUSLY annoying.
I'm willing to accept this though, as it provides a very decent challenge for the more experienced player, appeasing pretty much every single person in the audience.

Add to that a marvellous Orchestral Soundtrack (WHY did it take them so long!?), wide screen and progressive scan support, and you've got yourself one immensely impressive Wii game.
I'll admit, I had kind of given up on the little fat plumber, but Nintendo totally proved me wrong by kicking me in my jaded gaming nuts.
And being kicked in the nuts has NEVER felt this good.

Best DS Game:

Man, this was a tough one.



Hoohoo, bet you didn't see THAT one coming!
Like I...um...haven't said yet, I adhere to the release date of the version I've played, regardless of whether something has or has not been released in the West/Japan (yet/still/not/ever/if/through)
Final Fantasy Tactics Advance 2 (damn, that's a straight road to RSI, right there), not so aptly named because it was NOT made for the Gameboy Advance, was released in Japan this year and, to be honest, spent most time in my DS.

I have to acknowledge the brilliance that was Zelda: Phantom Hourglass, it was definitely a superb game, MUCH better than its spiritual predecessor, the Wind Waker, and I loved every second of it (well maybe not the Temple of the Ocean King), but in the end, I found that FFTA2 kept me coming back time and time again to finish every little subquest I could find, and I had non-stop fun for the entire ride, so yeah, I guess it comes out on top.

Basically, it takes Final Fantasy Tactics Advance (DAMN you Square!), improves the graphics, music (well, "rearranges FFTA1 and FFXII" is more like it. Hitoshi Sakimoto is not known for his variety, that's for sure), ditches the unforgiving "Disobey and DIE" Law System in favor of an "Earn Bonus Stuff if you Bother to Obey" system, adds another 100 quests on top of FFTA's already impressive 300, gives you a whole buttload of jobs to choose from, adds auctions and whatnot, and in the end creates an incredibly compelling deep tactical RPG, that, although rather easy and family-friendly, manages to keep you glued to your dual screens for HOURS upon HOURS just to get that next subquest done. It's very easy to just pick up and play for 15 minutes, and it pretty much dominated my free time for about a month after I got it.
And that, after all, is what games should be about, no?

Best 360 Game

Cliffhanger! Seriously, I don't know what the Hell is going on here, but ever since Blogger changed their service, it's become completely incomprehensible and impossible to work with. It seems I CAN save a entry without posting it, but the stupid system refuses to recall it when I want it to, so I'll just have to resort to posting a provisory version. Sorry about this, you can complain at Blogger Headquarters if you want. More coming soon!

posted by Ingen! @ 5:51 PM 0 comments

Overachiever

ZOMG! Update! And within 15 months!
I spoil you.

I have been having...Writer's Block! Yes! That' s it!
Quite a severe case of it in fact, so much so that I had to go see a doctor, and he ordered me to take lots and lots of rest, preferably playing LOADS of videogames, and who am I to argue with medical science? So rest assured, plenty of gaming has been done, and who knows, some day, I might even write about it, but not today! Today I am here for you to bring you my latest rant, and because I know noone is reading this anymore, it is a most excellent opportunity for getting things off my chest.

Actually, this is just a separate special post in preparation for an upcoming even larger one. I was initially going to include this topic as a tangent, but then I decided it is worthy of its own special space to separate my brilliant insights from my...uh...other brilliant insights.

Right.

So without further ado, let me introduce today's topic: Achievements.
And I don't mean the kind where you score a Drunk Bulgarian girl at a Student Party, that's hardly an achievement and the only thing it will earn you is your friends' ridicule, massive trauma, and some worrisome greenish pustules on your penis that you should probably get someone to take a look at.

No! I speak of the Achievements you can earn by playing XBox 360 games.
You know, the ones that are indicated on your profile with a bright shiny G behind them, implying that they are some kind of Final Fantasy currency, but good looking trying to get hold of a Potion with these, cos they don't do squat!
Initially, the point of these points (ahaha) escaped me completely. All they do is amount to a particular score, and that score won't do you ANY good. Apparently you can take your score online and see how many people have a smaller penis than you, but that's about it really.

Wouldn't it be SO much cooler if these points could actually be used as some kind of currency? I don't mean that you should pay your rent with them or anything, but wouldn't it be nice if XBox live offered some kind of, I dunno, skins, backgrounds, demo's, trailers etc. in exchange for points? The way it is, it seems totally useless to me.

It seemed all the more pointless to me, because the way games hand out points is completely random. Every game has to have 1000 points apparently, but it is obvious that some developers don't feel like bothering with them at all. Some games will give you all 1000 points gradually whilst making your way through the game so that you can't actually miss any (Enchanted Arms), but most others give you some nice side objectives to complete.
Thing is though, some games have really HARD challenges that only earn you like 20, 30 points or something, whereas some games like Lost Odyssey have the nerve to give you 125 points (that's pretty hefty) just for clearing a CD! Considering this game is 4 CD's long (Mister Sakaguchi obviously still has his head stuck in the PSX era), that's 500 points earned without any real effort!
And then there's Avatar, where you can get all 1000 points in two minutes apparently.

So what's the point in going online and showing off your enormous WAD, when points can be gained this easily in some games and are so hard to come by in others?
The answer is, there is none. In fact, I daresay that XBox live is one very good reason to never go online anymore EVER (Halo is a fine example of Darwin's Missing Link).

But then along came The Orange Box.
And the Orange Box opened my eyes!
The Orange Box has 99 (!!! Count 'em!) Achievements, which is such an insane number that most of them are only like 5 or 10 points (well there ARE 5 games in here), and Valve were apparently so proud of their ideas that they even included these achievements in the PC version, where you don't get any points at all apparently.
And that's what opened my eyes, Achievements are exactly that, Achievements!
It's not about points at all, it's about getting something done, it's about challenging yourself (or being obsessed if you look at it from another angle) and The Orange Box provides plenty of fun challenges indeed. In fact, I even replayed Half-Life 2 Episode 2 several times just to get some of the more elusive ones, and it was a goddamn blast.
So if anything, Achievements are about bragging rights, about being able to say you put that goddamn motherfucking asshole Gnome on board the Rocket, that you played through Episode 1 with only 1 bullet, that you defeated Generaal RAAM on Hardcore difficulty and what have you. Points don't mean Jack, so going online and showing them off to the world is completely pointless.
The Orange Box has rekindled my interest in Achievements though, and I even went back to some games I already finished long ago, just to get some of the Achievements, not for the points, but for the feeling of accomplishment, for the satisfying *plop* sound when your XBox tells you you unlocked something!

The point system can be dismissed for all I care, unless they actually DO something with it at some point, but as it is, it serves no purpose and worse, has no meaning, because the points don't tell you WHAT someone actually achieved.
Getting 40 points for killing every Antlion Grub in Episode 2 is considerably more impressive than getting 1000 points on Avatar.
And that's why I think there should be something to reward you for getting particular achievements. Not points, but something useful.
I think this was one of the early rumors on Sony's Home format: that accomplishing certain tasks in a game would earn you objects to adorn your humble virtual abode with. Posters, action figures, furniture, the possibilities are endless.
I don't know if this idea is actually going to be executed, but Sony have a potentially very exciting format in their hands if they do.
Knowing them, they'll probably mess it up though.

So if anyone from Sony or Microsoft is reading this, AND I THINK THEY ARE, then, please, get some kind of system that earns gamers achievement-specific virtual objects to brag with, not meaningless points. It'd be SO much cooler.

posted by Ingen! @ 2:53 AM 0 comments