The Biggest Game Project on this Planet

Rockman X2: Soul Eraser

Do you remember what I wrote about Capcom in my previous post?
If not, it's only a couple of centimeters below, so go and check it.
I'll wait here.

There, got it?
Now forget it, because Capcom SUCKS. And blows.
That is to say, when it comes to making new innovative games, and even breathing life into their old series, they pretty much rule. But when it comes to squeezing every little bit of life/money out of a popular franchise, well, they pretty much rule the roost too, but that basically means that they SUCK.

The Megaman X games are great in general, until X5 which sucked tremendously, as did X6 and I don't even want to talk about X7 because it gives me convulsions. I still have to play X8, but I've heard it's a lot better and actually, in fact, good.
Capcom realises this so they try to rerelease and remake the CRAP out of the old games, because they know they can't make a decent new one anymore. This has recently led to Maverick Hunter X on PSP, which is supposedly nice, but they fucked up the soundtrack pretty bad, and to the Megaman X Collection on GC and PS2, which everyone was excited about until it turned out to SUCK just as much as the abysmal Megaman Anniversary Collection, only with better emulation.
The problem was though that there were NO extra's, despite the fact that fans were promised a whole bunch. No remixed soundtracks, no redubbed voice tracks, NOTHING.
Just some artwork and some crappy original songs. Bleh.

With that in mind, let me take you back to the year 2001, when Capcom decided to release 2 Megaman X games on Gameboy Color. They were called Megaman Xtreme 1&2 in the West (that name alone should get someone fired), in Japan they were called Rockman X Cyber Mission & Soul Eraser. I never played the first one, but when I saw Soul Eraser for a very reasonably price in a second-hand shop, I thought, why not?
Well, the answer is: because it will give you a migraine, that's why. And it will make you impotent. And it will steal your job and your house.

Still, I guess I should've known better than to expect that a series that became popular on the SuperNES with detailed colorful sprites, great animation, kick-ass music and big bosses could ever turn out decent on a Gameboy Color.
And you know what? IT DOESN'T!
Although I'll admit the graphics were better than I expected, and not even that bad, everything else just sucks. They took 8 bosses from Megaman X1 - X3, but they:

A) Messed up the music. I mean, of course it would lose in quality, going back from 16-bit SuperNES to 8-bit sub-NES quality, but they actually managed to mess it up in other ways. It uses the same themes from the respective games, but some portions of each theme have just been cut out, presumably to save some storage space or something. Also, they mixed up Launch Octopus's theme with Flame Mammoth, which is just idiotic.
B) Messed up the stages. The GBC has a very small screen, meaning you won't see very much on one screen at one time. In honesty, the game manages to maintain a very decent speed throughout, not notably losing out to the SNES counterparts, but to do this, they make sure you can never see much of what is happening around you. Scrolling happens too late, meaning you'll often run into enemies or harmful objects that you simply couldn't see, or that you'll have to rely on blind jumps, which is just moronic.
Also, some stages have exactly the same layout as the SNES versions, which is cheap, and others are completely new, but totally boring. Stupid.
C) Messed up the fun. It's just no fun at all to play anymore. NO FUN AT ALL.
Really. Let's face it, they're making these games to make some extra money out of the franchise, meaning they are either aiming at people who don't have a SuperNES and want to play these games anyway, or they're aiming at die-hard fans, who'll play anything Megaman related. *raises hand*

If you're in category 1, you'll get a severely downsized and compromised sucky version which is crap. Instead of paying 30 bucks for this GBC cartridge, pay 800 bucks to get a decent computer with an Internet connection, and download a SuperNES emulator with all 3 Megaman X ROMs. Or, perhaps a slightly less costly alternative, sell your stupid GBC and get a SuperNES with the 3 original games, although they're rather hard to get nowadays. So best option: get a GC or PS2 and get the Megaman X Collection for 29.95. Easy as pie.

If you're in category 2, you'll get a severely downsized and compromised sucky version of those fantastic games you loved so much, which is crap. Instead of paying 30 bucks for this GBC cartridge, pay 50 bucks to get yourself laid. The fun'll last longer, and there's a considerable SMALLER chance of getting a venereal disease.

Avoid like the plague. A lousy scrawny 4 for this game.
Bad Capcom!

posted by Ingen! @ 10:44 AM