The Biggest Game Project on this Planet

Love Story

Also known as 0 Story or whatever.
This is one of those Japanese Love simulation games that you might have heard something about, perhaps by some extreme loser who was talking about it as if it was the best thing on the planet. You know, the guy with the ugly mug and the high squeaky voice? Who always watches anime? Who only likes Japanese girls?
That's the one! We all know people like that.

You play as some dude who dies in a freak accident involving oysters, a middle-aged nurse and 5 pieces of string, but when you get to Heaven, two Angels are waiting for you to tell you that you get one last shot at life, IF (and only if) you can find true love with the first girl you meet, within six days. I think the movie the Sixth Day with AAAhhnuld Schvazaneggaaaah was loosely based on this, in that there was also a woman in there somewhere.

Fortunately for YOU (which soon becomes the main character's official name) Japanese girls are easy, especially if you're dead, so he happily accepts the task.
What ensues is an interactive movie of sorts. The game is spanned across two DVD-ROMs filled with FMV. Every once in a while you get to choose Camera angles or decide what you're going to do or say. Your choices influence the course of the story, and there are multiple routes through the game, although the ending is always the same I think. Provided you keep up, because there's a Love Meter at the bottom left of the screen showing you how much Rina, the girl in question, feels for you. The aim is to reach 100% at the end of the sixth day of course, and the percentage is influenced by your actions, how well you perform at...uh...minigames, and by reading her mind.
At the bottom right of the screen are a bow and arrow, and strategically timed shots will show you what Rina is thinking, and in some cases even affect her mood, show you important flashbacks, and make her more insightful.

But I like how everything is worked out. Rina is a real stuck up little snobby singer, but through your actions you can push her into the right directions, show her that she may not always be right (I think any man can tell you how necessary this is) and make more of a person out of her.
The game is filled with very pretty Japanese girls, most of which are rather famous Idols in Japan. I've seen many of these actresses (used in the widest sense of the word) on Japanese TV on a regular basis, so the game must've had a fairly big budget.
This cannot be derived from SFX though, cos they suck. Image quality is decent, but computer effects are horrible, acting is atrocious (they're Japanese girls, selected for their cuteness, what did you EXPECT!?) and the story is kinda convoluted, jumping from one scene to something totally irrelevant.

To be honest, there ARE a couple of really good scenes, that were filmed very well and actually have some significance (somewhere I am sure that at least one of you readers is going: "Ingen. No.")

Also, and this has got to be worth some points, the game is really shamelessly sexist. This is nothing but a parade of lovely cute girls, in skimpy, sexy outfits. Some of the camera angles are expressly aimed at cleavage, and there's even an entire scene that revolves around Rina and her friend Saki trying on new clothes (bathing suits, if you do it right!) and don't even get me started on the Fortune Teller and her exotic outfit. *gurgles*
And you know what? Like any self-respecting heterosexual man, or perhaps gay woman, I FRIGGIN' LOVE IT! It's so shamelessly obvious and so deliciously putting down women as objects, you have got to admire the political incorrectness of it all, be it on purpose or not.

AND, most importantly, towards the end, Rina and Saki will french kiss, making this in effect, the BEST GAME EVER. A 10 is simply not enough!

When you finish the game you will get a Theater mode, showing you the course you made through the story, without you having to interact again, and playing through consecutive times will open up new scenes and new possibilities.
Also, I was laughing practically non-stop. Firstly at the endearing amateurism of course (at least some of this HAS to be deliberate) but also at some of the over-the-top acting, mostly by Rina's agent. Some of the humorous bits are so silly you can't help but laugh, and I think people accustomed to the Japanese sense of humor will enjoy this.
It's of course a bit childish, but it's still bearable. The game does deal with some heavier topics like loneliness, depression and the insignificance of life and there are even some messages in here that do not seem standard in a love story (Ingen. NO!)

All in all, I think that this game has pretty much everything you might expect from the genre, plus sexy women. KISSING.

It should stand to reason that you need to understand Japanese to play this, making too many wrong decisions will cause Game Over, so you have to know what you're saying, but if you know Japanese, it's usually pretty obvious what is correct and what isn't.

So, if you like any of the following: Love Sims, Japanese Girls, Silly Humor, Love Stories, Bad Computer Graphics, Cheesy Soundtracks and Migraines, you will want to play this game. Seriously. NOW!

In all honesty, those who have a healthy affection for Japan and its inhabitants, especially if you are male, will probably like this. I'm pretty sure most people I know would, cos it's just a simple endearing silly game with pretty girls, I mean, shit, that's all I need anyway.
I have not enough experience in the genre to compare this by, so scoring it is kind of difficult. I only ever played Sanpagita on PSX, but this game IS much better, even if the former has better graphics. THIS ONE HAS REAL GIRLS. WITH CLEAVAGE.
Well not very much, but still. Boobs rule.
And the game IS blatantly about sexism in any case, so it succeeds in all the important categories.

I'm going to give this an 8, cos I think genre-fanatics should definitely try this, as well as anyone who likes women and bog-standard Love themes. Oh hell, just give it a 10 and be done with it.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to masturbate. With PORN.

posted by Ingen! @ 10:04 AM